LIVING IN NIGERIA AS A SINGLE LADY IS HARD

Written by Amarachi Ogbonnaya.

This post was borne out of a video I saw this morning on Instagram on BBC pidgin, a documentary on single ladies living alone in Lagos and how landlords perceive them.

There were so much comments and personal experiences shared by single ladies on their experiences in the hands of landlords across Nigeria, which left me with the conviction that there is a stereotype against spinsters in the country, its like when people hear that a single lady wants to live alone, there is this perception that she is either a prostitute or incapable of taking  care of her bills herself.

So many instances of landlords asking to speak with parents of said female tenants, or that they don't give their houses to single ladies or those who don't do 9-5 jobs and you begin to wonder if these houses are given for FREE.

The stereotype has gotten to another level here in Lagos, there are certain places on the island were single ladies are rejected; I mean, I am coming to spend my hard earned money in your bar or club and you tell me if I am not with a man, I can't come in, hello, its not FREE. Such is the society we find ourselves, that place so much emphasis on marriage, even if you aren't living well in your marriage, once there is a ring on your finger, you are fine. I mean in this 21st century, a nation still reasons like this, Haaaaaaa, we still have a long way to go o.

A former colleague of mine once told me not to leave my parents house because I won't get husband to marry on time as a lot of men are skeptical of ladies who live alone and are well off, as they assume they are, "Small girls with big God's," she went on to shock me with the news that her husband told her that one of the reasons he didn't marry any of his exes was because most of them lived alone and he didn't trust them as he didn't know what they did behind his back, suffice to say he married her because he felt she was decent as a result of living with her mom, like realllllllllllyyyyyyyyy? These and many more scary things one hear daily and you begin to wonder if singlehood is a disease, no wonder a lot of ladies marry wrongly, the perception is so shallow and a lot of so-called educated people are entrapped in this warped perception and the funny thing is our male counterparts go unhurt in all this fiasco. You see men renting houses without hassles, without guidebooks and tons of questions, you see men being hailed for sleeping around, its part of male prowess.

Which way Nigeria? A country is to protect both the perceived weak and strong people from danger,but its like we are exposing ours.

The other day a friend of mine and I were having a discussion on going out alone as a spinter and the perception of the public on that, she said she went out with some Friends, and a lady beside them, after drinking her beer and chicken, stood up and left after paying and the men she (my friend) came with were shocked no man followed her, very bizarre sturv.

Abeg lemme stop here as I haf vex. Have you had any experience either renting a house in any part of Nigeria as a spinter and would love to contribute? Don't worry, I will make you anonymous if you wish, do well to send a mail to diaryofawakanda@gmail.com

You can comment your own experience in the comment section and also share this post if you learnt from it.

For now, its goodnight. Sleep well o, you know I love you all 😀.