THE GUIDE TO BECOMING AN AGBERO IN LAGOS

Written by Amarachi Ogbonnaya.

You have been out of school for years and no job to show for it?, no money, no savings, broke and frustrated? not to worry, aunty is here to help.

Do you have strength? can you fight? fly? run like Usain Bolt? cuss out? have a deep voice? if you naswered yes to all of these questions, i present to you, the position of an agbero in Lagos, your job description? running after vehicles in Lagos for, "Owo da," using marker to write rubbish on danfos, kekes and okadas.

RUN LIKE USAIN BOLT:
You must be very fast like Usain Bolt, why? so that when conductors and drivers connive not to give you what is due to you, you must be able to chase after defaulters.

YOU MUST BE MEAN LOOKING:
Your fellow agebors are like that, you mustnt have the looks of a yoruba demon, well, I piry ou. The job is not for the faint hearted, you must have the looks not just the legs, if you look like a bouncer, good for you, the deadlier you look, the better chances you have of been accepted in to the league of agberos.

if you lok like the first guy, all the better

YOU MUST SPEAK YORUBA AND HAVE CUSS WORDS AT THE TIP OF YOUR MOUTH

well, this is a prerequisite, you cant with these conductors if you cant cuss out, you must know Yoruba slang and insults and speak Yoruba in order to mingle with the other guys. For example, iyalaya anybody, iya e, ori e ofokasibe, ori e buru, etc.

YOU MUST FLY LIKE A SPIDER MAN: 

Being able to run like Usain Bolt is important, flying like spider man is importanter. How else will you be able to fly into their buses and fight them until they give you your due diligence?

With this guide, you are well on your way to becoming a respectable agbero with so much money, money you didnt work for, but well, you sweated for. Don't thank me yet, what are friends for 😇